Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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