so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
