Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize