he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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