Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
