Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
