I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
