you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
