he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Randomize
