I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We don't watch enough power rangers
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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