Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
