ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
