watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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