It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
