she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
