Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
