i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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