i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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