Nicole vs. Life
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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