im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize