so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm at about main and main street
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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