A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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