That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
only you would photoshop your dick
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
