the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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