how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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