Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
