Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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