corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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