I can tuck mytits in my pants
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We left the knife in your bed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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