it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
