Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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