I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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