No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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