apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
