If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
