So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
