She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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