We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
