I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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