some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize