You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
