Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
