can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
