1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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