It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
