she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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