I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
