You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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