girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I just sharted jello shots
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
