What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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