If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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