sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
