If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
