GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
