What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
