i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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