so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
