i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
dude. I can hear the air.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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