you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
