Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it glows. i had to have it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i now understand why vodka
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize