i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
