Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
