i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
