Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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