Dude my mom stole all your condoms
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
