he puts the penis in happiness.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize