you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Barsexuality is the new black.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
