i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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