I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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