no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
