Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
