So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
