I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You dont lie about slip and slides
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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