READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
