So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize