I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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