I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
