i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
