I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
