Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
