I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
