just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
