I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
